A Revelation
This has been an interesting week and one that has opened my eyes to some things, as well. Yesterday, we buried my aunt Molly and I have to say it was the most unconventional funeral that I have ever attended - and strangely enough - that was what Molly had wanted. There was no preacher. There was no one officiating the funeral. It was held at the funeral home on the grounds of the cemetery and it was basically one family member or friend giving a testament to my aunt, after another. It was exactly as Molly would have wanted it. The room was full. Afterwards, we accompanied the casket to the gravesite and placed her body next to those of my grandparents, her son, who was killed back in '93, and a few other family members and it was very brief.
Afterward, many of us went to a Hyatt Hotel and had a celebration of her life. I had put together a powerpoint of about 150 photos from her life and it played on a loop on the screen and everyone visited for several hours and ate too much. Angie and I had some great visits with both of Molly's daughters, their families, a couple of my cousins (I really enjoyed getting to see Phillip and Andy), and everyone else at the funeral.
Since Molly passed away last week, I've had a real burden in my heart about my failure to talk to her about Jesus. I've had the opportunity to do so (something like 28 years since I truly accepted Him as my savior), but I didn't do it. It's honestly easier for me to get up in front of 900 physicians and teach a 4 hour seminar than it is for me to talk to my own family members about Him and I do not know why. Well, maybe I do. I don't really care what a stranger thinks of me, but I do care about what my own family members think and that is really stupid, in so many ways. It's also shameful. Jesus was prepared to go through ridicule, physical torture and even death for me and I'm feeling hesitant to have someone think odd of me? Pathetic is the word that comes to mind. So, I took the first step, at the funeral reception. I had typed up a couple of pages about how Molly's death has affected me in making me see the realization that I had wasted opportunities to talk to her about Jesus. So, I wrote a couple of pages about my feelings and I handed those out to people at the reception as they were leaving and I asked them to read it when they were alone. I also gave them my phone number and encouraged them to call me if they wanted me to pray with them or to answer any questions. Yes - that may be the coward's way of handling it - but at least it is a step in the right direction.
I also learned some things at the funeral to confirm some suspicions about my mother's siblings and how they've died and/or are now dying. I had previously thought my mother died from COPD, almost 3 years ago. I had thought that her older brother and older sister had also died from COPD. Molly died from IPF, which is Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, which is a rare disease of the lungs. She was given 3 to 5 years a little more than 5 years ago. in fact, she lived 5 years and 4 days. Molly was 2 days past her 59th birthday. My uncle Bill also has it. He was given 3 to 5 years, about 3 years ago. My uncle Jerry told me that he has COPD and he is on full oxygen. Sybil (another of mom's older sisters) has COPD. Of the 7 siblings - ALL of them either have COPD or IPF. When you research IPF, you find that this RARE disease is suspected of being hereditary. SUSPECTED? Oh yeah - my grandfather (their father) died from COPD. The research at the NIH and CDC says that IPF can be misdiagnosed as COPD. So, today, i spent about 45 minutes on the phone with a Pulmonary Geneticist at UTSWMC in Dallas and she says that this family's incidence of pulmonary problems is more rare than any other that she's heard of, so I'm talking to the family members about participating in their study to help find the cause and any possible treatments. IPF has a 100% death rate, it seems like, from all of the literature I found today. More than half live less than 2.5 years from the time they are diagnosed. Lung transplants help and add some time - but no cure. My generation may or may not be ok as it supposedly may skip a generation - unless they smoke - and I did smoke for 21 years and quit 14 years ago, but I want them to find a cure before my sons get to their 50s. I want them to find the cause and cure before the children of my cousins get to their 50s. That is why I spent so long on the phone with the doctor heading up the study today and told her that I'm willing to do whatever I can do to convince my relatives on that side of the family to let them take a blood sample so they can study the DNA, from each. They need the blood from the children of the Nolen's that have already passed, so they can study theirs as well. So - I'm going to try to convince people in my family to let the doctor send someone to their home.
This brings me to the point of my story. Molly was on the transplant list within 3 days - which is almost unheard of. They waited a couple of weeks and she had no fever up to that point and lungs became available. On that day, she obtained a fever and infection and that ruled out her getting a transplant. I started thinking about the fact that I had updated my drivers license last year and didn't remember signing it, so I pulled it out and there was no place to sign it now. I then did some research and found the following website:
http://www.organdonor.gov/donor/registry.shtm
I then went to the site and enrolled for not only organs, but also tissue. I plan on having a closed casket when i die, so if there is nothing in that box other than my shoelaces, that will be fine with me. OK - just kidding as they do not have to disfigure the body in any way for viewing (but I'm serious about my being a closed casket anyway), but I want them to take everything they need to help others.
My plea to you is for you to go to this same site and enroll. Just having your driver's license signed may not be enough. If you're in an auto accident and your purse is destroyed, your wish needs to be on something other than a piece of plastic in your wallet. Please consider this act of selflessness as you may very well save someone else's life and that is a blessing.
Oh yeah - I may someday ask you about your relationship to Jesus, so don't be surprised if I do. It's much more important that you have the right answer when He asks than when I do.
Donald Jay (Don) Self
Afterward, many of us went to a Hyatt Hotel and had a celebration of her life. I had put together a powerpoint of about 150 photos from her life and it played on a loop on the screen and everyone visited for several hours and ate too much. Angie and I had some great visits with both of Molly's daughters, their families, a couple of my cousins (I really enjoyed getting to see Phillip and Andy), and everyone else at the funeral.
Since Molly passed away last week, I've had a real burden in my heart about my failure to talk to her about Jesus. I've had the opportunity to do so (something like 28 years since I truly accepted Him as my savior), but I didn't do it. It's honestly easier for me to get up in front of 900 physicians and teach a 4 hour seminar than it is for me to talk to my own family members about Him and I do not know why. Well, maybe I do. I don't really care what a stranger thinks of me, but I do care about what my own family members think and that is really stupid, in so many ways. It's also shameful. Jesus was prepared to go through ridicule, physical torture and even death for me and I'm feeling hesitant to have someone think odd of me? Pathetic is the word that comes to mind. So, I took the first step, at the funeral reception. I had typed up a couple of pages about how Molly's death has affected me in making me see the realization that I had wasted opportunities to talk to her about Jesus. So, I wrote a couple of pages about my feelings and I handed those out to people at the reception as they were leaving and I asked them to read it when they were alone. I also gave them my phone number and encouraged them to call me if they wanted me to pray with them or to answer any questions. Yes - that may be the coward's way of handling it - but at least it is a step in the right direction.
I also learned some things at the funeral to confirm some suspicions about my mother's siblings and how they've died and/or are now dying. I had previously thought my mother died from COPD, almost 3 years ago. I had thought that her older brother and older sister had also died from COPD. Molly died from IPF, which is Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, which is a rare disease of the lungs. She was given 3 to 5 years a little more than 5 years ago. in fact, she lived 5 years and 4 days. Molly was 2 days past her 59th birthday. My uncle Bill also has it. He was given 3 to 5 years, about 3 years ago. My uncle Jerry told me that he has COPD and he is on full oxygen. Sybil (another of mom's older sisters) has COPD. Of the 7 siblings - ALL of them either have COPD or IPF. When you research IPF, you find that this RARE disease is suspected of being hereditary. SUSPECTED? Oh yeah - my grandfather (their father) died from COPD. The research at the NIH and CDC says that IPF can be misdiagnosed as COPD. So, today, i spent about 45 minutes on the phone with a Pulmonary Geneticist at UTSWMC in Dallas and she says that this family's incidence of pulmonary problems is more rare than any other that she's heard of, so I'm talking to the family members about participating in their study to help find the cause and any possible treatments. IPF has a 100% death rate, it seems like, from all of the literature I found today. More than half live less than 2.5 years from the time they are diagnosed. Lung transplants help and add some time - but no cure. My generation may or may not be ok as it supposedly may skip a generation - unless they smoke - and I did smoke for 21 years and quit 14 years ago, but I want them to find a cure before my sons get to their 50s. I want them to find the cause and cure before the children of my cousins get to their 50s. That is why I spent so long on the phone with the doctor heading up the study today and told her that I'm willing to do whatever I can do to convince my relatives on that side of the family to let them take a blood sample so they can study the DNA, from each. They need the blood from the children of the Nolen's that have already passed, so they can study theirs as well. So - I'm going to try to convince people in my family to let the doctor send someone to their home.
This brings me to the point of my story. Molly was on the transplant list within 3 days - which is almost unheard of. They waited a couple of weeks and she had no fever up to that point and lungs became available. On that day, she obtained a fever and infection and that ruled out her getting a transplant. I started thinking about the fact that I had updated my drivers license last year and didn't remember signing it, so I pulled it out and there was no place to sign it now. I then did some research and found the following website:
http://www.organdonor.gov/donor/registry.shtm
I then went to the site and enrolled for not only organs, but also tissue. I plan on having a closed casket when i die, so if there is nothing in that box other than my shoelaces, that will be fine with me. OK - just kidding as they do not have to disfigure the body in any way for viewing (but I'm serious about my being a closed casket anyway), but I want them to take everything they need to help others.
My plea to you is for you to go to this same site and enroll. Just having your driver's license signed may not be enough. If you're in an auto accident and your purse is destroyed, your wish needs to be on something other than a piece of plastic in your wallet. Please consider this act of selflessness as you may very well save someone else's life and that is a blessing.
Oh yeah - I may someday ask you about your relationship to Jesus, so don't be surprised if I do. It's much more important that you have the right answer when He asks than when I do.
Donald Jay (Don) Self
I've learned some definitions since Obama is president.
Bipartisan: When Republicans do what the Democrats say.
Tolerance: When Republicans do what the Democrats say.
Transparency: When Democrats are behind closed doors.
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