NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and
Daughter
This one I caught in the
SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote
this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what
he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next
day.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really?
Ya think?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's
taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair
trial!
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If Strike Isn't Settled
Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something
stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces
Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test
Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in
Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over
again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?


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