TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A OBAMA'S HEALTH  CARE PLAN - AND WHAT A LOT OF  OLDER FOLKS ON FIXED INCOMES MAY BE  FACING 
 
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
  
(9) Directions to your Doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
 
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgecicles.
  
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
 
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "An apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out of network charges."   This is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
  
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.
 
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:
 
(1) You ask for help with male aging, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape

WE ARE IN DANGER!

This morning, from a cave somewhere in either Pakistan or India, the Taliban Minister of Migration Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military actions against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities intend to cut off America 's supply of Convenience Store Managers and possibly Motel 6 Managers.  And, if this action does not yield sufficient results, Cab drivers will be next, followed by DELL and AOL customer Service Reps.